Racing Thoughts
Thoughts racing, colliding day and night.
Thoughts about safety, Thoughts about health.
Fleeting thoughts that pass so quickly, they can’t be recalled.
In any given moment, multiple thoughts, multiple topics..
What will I make for dinner?
What’s up with Bush and his war anyway?
How will I pay for registration at the public high school?
Important thoughts I am sure to forget before I complete them.
Will his blood sugar level drop low in the night?
Will she do well in school this year?
Will she make new friends at her new High School?
Irrelevant thought taking up space in my head.
What is the person in the car next to me singing to?
What was she thinking when she got dressed this morning?
I wonder where that smell is coming from.
Day and night the thoughts continue in my mind,
How do I expect to get anything accomplished?
How will I ever get to sleep?
Please just let them slow down…Just a little bit,
Just for a minute.
Dark, quiet room...falling asleep.
Quiet at last until the dreaming starts.
Here we go again.
A new day for new thoughts…
Do I look okay?
Will people like me?
What if people hate what I write?
Shh… don’t worry about what others think.
Those thoughts fall in the irrelevant category
Save space for the important things in life.
Friday, August 3, 2007
Thursday, August 2, 2007
New Kid in Town
I have been reading a lot of blogs lately. My friend, SML, got me started on the blogging. I am very new, and not very good at it, but I enjoy the writing. I have enjoyed reading the other blogs too. I found a whole new way to connect to people. A lot of the blogs I read, I recognize the blogger from my social gatherings where I live. Many are from far away places, and it is fun to read what they have to say.
I am not a poet or an artist. I don't have aspirations to write a novel. I would love to have a darkroom in my house and focus more on Photography...many years ago I earned an associate degree in Photography. I like to take my kids' school pictures at the beginning of the year.
I started this post to write some of the feelings I have as I read the other posts. I start at one site, usually SML's, and link to another site, and another from that site and on and on. What I have noticed, is many of the same people are on all of the link lists, or blogrolls. I am curious how everyone linked up? I am having a hard time getting people to my site, and I feel like a new kid in school...just watching from the outside, but wanting to find my way to the inside, a little unsure of myself, and how to get there.
If you stop at my site, let me know. I would love to add you to my Link List. I would love to hear your comments. Until then, I will continue to visit your sites and post comments, hoping you will click on my name and come over for a visit!
Julianna
I am not a poet or an artist. I don't have aspirations to write a novel. I would love to have a darkroom in my house and focus more on Photography...many years ago I earned an associate degree in Photography. I like to take my kids' school pictures at the beginning of the year.
I started this post to write some of the feelings I have as I read the other posts. I start at one site, usually SML's, and link to another site, and another from that site and on and on. What I have noticed, is many of the same people are on all of the link lists, or blogrolls. I am curious how everyone linked up? I am having a hard time getting people to my site, and I feel like a new kid in school...just watching from the outside, but wanting to find my way to the inside, a little unsure of myself, and how to get there.
If you stop at my site, let me know. I would love to add you to my Link List. I would love to hear your comments. Until then, I will continue to visit your sites and post comments, hoping you will click on my name and come over for a visit!
Julianna
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
We Still Love Her, Even More So Now... Part 3
What the vet didn't tell us when she had her eye removed was that it was almost a 100% chance that the same thing would happen with the second eye, or that drops in the remaining eye would protect her from getting the glaucoma in the second eye.
It was almost exactly 6 months later when I was outside playing ball and she started missing the ball more than catching it. I told my husband I thought something was wrong because she wouldn't catch the ball. We agreed to take her to the emergency room for pets. I drove her the 50 miles to the recommended urgent care veterinarian office. The Doctor we saw was livid when I told he we were not warned about the glaucoma returning. He said it was malpractice. I was upset, and just wanted Ginger better. He called the Opthomologist veterinarian office that was near the ER room. It was a Sunday, so we weren't sure anyone would be able to help us, but the doctor answered and told us to meet here at the office in 45 minutes. (It would take her that long to get there from her home.)
We drove to the office and waited. When she got there, she looked at Ginger and checked the pressure in her eye. She said it was very high, but if it would come down after a does of steroids, she may regain some vision.
The pressure came down enough to make her feel that Ginger was a candidate for laser surgery. It would be expensive, and there was no gaurantee that she would see again, but it was worth concidering.
After a call to my husband, and discussing the options, we decided if there was a chance she would get the vision back, it was worth it. She was a young dog, and had a lot of years to live. What kind of life could she lead blind? We gave consent for the surgery and sat down to wait. I don't remember if we had to leave her overnight, or if we waited while the surgery was done and then went home. She came through the surgery healthy, but her eye was still swollen, and she couldn't see. We were told it could take up to 6 weeks to regain the vision.
We returned home with her with all sorts of medication, and a cone for her head again. She didn't like getting the eye drops, but looked forward to the pills. I would put peanut better all over the pill and then stick a cherrio on each side. She loved the treats!
When we left the office, we were told to make sure all of our furniture stayed in the same place, so she could memorize where things were and not be suprised. We laughted at that. We were in the middle of remodeling the house, and things changed daily. She surprised us with her agility, and ability to find her way through our maze of furniture and construction that was ever changing. She rarely bumped in to anything, and remained happy and loving.
Week after week we were told that she could not see anything. One day upon returning home, she was sitting on the couch looking out the window when we pulled in the driveway. She hadn't done this since she lost her sight. We were encouraged by the sign. She also loved to look out the window as we drove. Still, after 8 weeks, the doctor said there was no change in her vision. We contnued with the drops to keep the glacoma from coming back, but we had to accept the fact that we had a blind dog.
After another 2 months of the drops, and another bout with the glaucoma causing her pain, we decided to take her back to our regular vet and have him remove the eye. It broke my heart to make that decision, but she couldn't see, and she was in pain. If the eye was removed, the pain wouldn't come back. Another $800, but we were spending close to $100 a month on the drops that wern't doing anything.
Again, we brought her home with the cone on her head. We didn't think she would have any trouble getting around since she had already lost her sight, but when I let her out of the kennel, she started bumping into things more than she ever had before.
Had we done the wrong thing? Could she really see and we took it away from her? We were sick. She learned her way around again, and we found that the cone was what was making her run into things again. She couldn't use all of her senses with her ears covered.
It has been more than a year since we removed the eye. She is doing really well. When people come to visit, they don't notice right away that she has no eyes. They think she is just blinking or something. She gets around so well, know one guesses she is blind. I always say she is blind and doesn't know it. Actually, she is beyond blind. She has no eyes.
She can't catch the ball in the air anymore. Sometimes I wonder if she remembers what she used to do. Sometimes, if I bounce the ball, she will listen to the bounces and retrieve the ball. She doesn't like to do it as much as she liked to catch the ball before. The other thing she likes to do is tug of war. We had a hard time finding a tug that she couldn't chew through in a day, but we finally found one.
I worry that she doesn't get enough exercise, and that she is bored. I think she is okay, she still looks happy anytime anyone calls her name, or she hears our car pull up. She jumps up on everyone in a friendly greeting. I constantly ask myself if I made the right decision. Is she better off as she is know, our should we just have had her put down. The very thought brings tears to my eyes.
We love our Ginger!
It was almost exactly 6 months later when I was outside playing ball and she started missing the ball more than catching it. I told my husband I thought something was wrong because she wouldn't catch the ball. We agreed to take her to the emergency room for pets. I drove her the 50 miles to the recommended urgent care veterinarian office. The Doctor we saw was livid when I told he we were not warned about the glaucoma returning. He said it was malpractice. I was upset, and just wanted Ginger better. He called the Opthomologist veterinarian office that was near the ER room. It was a Sunday, so we weren't sure anyone would be able to help us, but the doctor answered and told us to meet here at the office in 45 minutes. (It would take her that long to get there from her home.)
We drove to the office and waited. When she got there, she looked at Ginger and checked the pressure in her eye. She said it was very high, but if it would come down after a does of steroids, she may regain some vision.
The pressure came down enough to make her feel that Ginger was a candidate for laser surgery. It would be expensive, and there was no gaurantee that she would see again, but it was worth concidering.
After a call to my husband, and discussing the options, we decided if there was a chance she would get the vision back, it was worth it. She was a young dog, and had a lot of years to live. What kind of life could she lead blind? We gave consent for the surgery and sat down to wait. I don't remember if we had to leave her overnight, or if we waited while the surgery was done and then went home. She came through the surgery healthy, but her eye was still swollen, and she couldn't see. We were told it could take up to 6 weeks to regain the vision.
We returned home with her with all sorts of medication, and a cone for her head again. She didn't like getting the eye drops, but looked forward to the pills. I would put peanut better all over the pill and then stick a cherrio on each side. She loved the treats!
When we left the office, we were told to make sure all of our furniture stayed in the same place, so she could memorize where things were and not be suprised. We laughted at that. We were in the middle of remodeling the house, and things changed daily. She surprised us with her agility, and ability to find her way through our maze of furniture and construction that was ever changing. She rarely bumped in to anything, and remained happy and loving.
Week after week we were told that she could not see anything. One day upon returning home, she was sitting on the couch looking out the window when we pulled in the driveway. She hadn't done this since she lost her sight. We were encouraged by the sign. She also loved to look out the window as we drove. Still, after 8 weeks, the doctor said there was no change in her vision. We contnued with the drops to keep the glacoma from coming back, but we had to accept the fact that we had a blind dog.
After another 2 months of the drops, and another bout with the glaucoma causing her pain, we decided to take her back to our regular vet and have him remove the eye. It broke my heart to make that decision, but she couldn't see, and she was in pain. If the eye was removed, the pain wouldn't come back. Another $800, but we were spending close to $100 a month on the drops that wern't doing anything.
Again, we brought her home with the cone on her head. We didn't think she would have any trouble getting around since she had already lost her sight, but when I let her out of the kennel, she started bumping into things more than she ever had before.
Had we done the wrong thing? Could she really see and we took it away from her? We were sick. She learned her way around again, and we found that the cone was what was making her run into things again. She couldn't use all of her senses with her ears covered.
It has been more than a year since we removed the eye. She is doing really well. When people come to visit, they don't notice right away that she has no eyes. They think she is just blinking or something. She gets around so well, know one guesses she is blind. I always say she is blind and doesn't know it. Actually, she is beyond blind. She has no eyes.
She can't catch the ball in the air anymore. Sometimes I wonder if she remembers what she used to do. Sometimes, if I bounce the ball, she will listen to the bounces and retrieve the ball. She doesn't like to do it as much as she liked to catch the ball before. The other thing she likes to do is tug of war. We had a hard time finding a tug that she couldn't chew through in a day, but we finally found one.
I worry that she doesn't get enough exercise, and that she is bored. I think she is okay, she still looks happy anytime anyone calls her name, or she hears our car pull up. She jumps up on everyone in a friendly greeting. I constantly ask myself if I made the right decision. Is she better off as she is know, our should we just have had her put down. The very thought brings tears to my eyes.
We love our Ginger!
Monday, July 30, 2007
What You Do When You Love the Dog as One of Your Kids
Ginger came to stay with us. It didn't take her long to know just how to work us. If she wanted hear head rubbed and no one would do it, she would put her nose under our hands and make us do it. She loved to catch balls. We started out buying tennis balls for her to play with. I would throw them and she would leap through the air and catch them before they hit the ground.
Every day I would go out and throw the ball for her to catch. We had to learn a few things. We learned right away that she could pop and skin a tennis ball in no time at all. I finaly found a ball that she liked and wouldn't destroy. I had to get two of them. At first she didn't get that to play catch, she would have to return the ball to me. As long as I had to balls, she would bring back the first one to go after the second one. This was a game we both loved. She would only do it with me, for some reason, she wouldn't return the ball to other family members.
She wasn't very obedient, so we decided to go to training classes with her. She learned to do all of the tricks very quickly...as long as a treat was the reward. The important ones she learned right away. She learned her new name quickly and would come as soon as she was called. She would sit and stay with no problem, but expected a treat if she did so. The one thing she couldn't quite master was heeling and walking slowly with you. She would run ahead and choke herself in the process. She loved to go to Petsmart because she could meet all kinds of friends. She loves to sniff the butts of all dogs, big and small.
We decided it would be good to have her trained to ring a bell when she wanted outside. That took only 2 days. We put up a small wind chime at her nose level and rang it everytime the door opened, whether she was going out or not. We started holing a treat on one side of the wind chime she she would have to ring it to get the treat. When the bell rang, the door opened. It only took two days to get her to hit the chimes when she wanted out. It had it's draw backs. Some times she would ring the bell when we didn't want her too. We often have deer in our back yard. Every time she would hear one, she would ring the bell with vigar. Some nights we would just take the wind chimes down.
After we had her for about 9 months, her eye started hurting her. She didn't want to play anymore and the eye was all swollen looking. I took her to the vet and was given some drops. That didn't help. I kept calling the vet, and after a week I said she had to be seen again. A different vet saw us. He checked the pressure in her eye. It was very high. He said it was glaucoma. By this time, there was a green film over her eye. She had completely lost sight in it, and was in a lot of pain. The Vetranarian recommended removing the eye. Of course I cryed again. What would she look like with one eye missing? I am picturing a piriate dog. I was assured that it would look like she had an eye, only it would be sewed closed. I agreed it was for the best. I left her so she could have the surgery. It was going to cost about $800. We never thought we would pay that much for an animal doctor bill, but the alternative was to have her put down. We didn't think that was an option we could live with.
When we brought her home she was a little groggy, and had stiches where here eye used to be. She had to wear one of those cones so she wouldn't scratch her eye. She kept running into things. The first couple of days were rough. She would whine all night. None of us slepted well, but she made it through, and returned to her old self. She could still catch a ball, and loved doing it over and over. She discovered she also liked rawhide bones. She was a happy dog.
Check back for part 3
Every day I would go out and throw the ball for her to catch. We had to learn a few things. We learned right away that she could pop and skin a tennis ball in no time at all. I finaly found a ball that she liked and wouldn't destroy. I had to get two of them. At first she didn't get that to play catch, she would have to return the ball to me. As long as I had to balls, she would bring back the first one to go after the second one. This was a game we both loved. She would only do it with me, for some reason, she wouldn't return the ball to other family members.
She wasn't very obedient, so we decided to go to training classes with her. She learned to do all of the tricks very quickly...as long as a treat was the reward. The important ones she learned right away. She learned her new name quickly and would come as soon as she was called. She would sit and stay with no problem, but expected a treat if she did so. The one thing she couldn't quite master was heeling and walking slowly with you. She would run ahead and choke herself in the process. She loved to go to Petsmart because she could meet all kinds of friends. She loves to sniff the butts of all dogs, big and small.
We decided it would be good to have her trained to ring a bell when she wanted outside. That took only 2 days. We put up a small wind chime at her nose level and rang it everytime the door opened, whether she was going out or not. We started holing a treat on one side of the wind chime she she would have to ring it to get the treat. When the bell rang, the door opened. It only took two days to get her to hit the chimes when she wanted out. It had it's draw backs. Some times she would ring the bell when we didn't want her too. We often have deer in our back yard. Every time she would hear one, she would ring the bell with vigar. Some nights we would just take the wind chimes down.
After we had her for about 9 months, her eye started hurting her. She didn't want to play anymore and the eye was all swollen looking. I took her to the vet and was given some drops. That didn't help. I kept calling the vet, and after a week I said she had to be seen again. A different vet saw us. He checked the pressure in her eye. It was very high. He said it was glaucoma. By this time, there was a green film over her eye. She had completely lost sight in it, and was in a lot of pain. The Vetranarian recommended removing the eye. Of course I cryed again. What would she look like with one eye missing? I am picturing a piriate dog. I was assured that it would look like she had an eye, only it would be sewed closed. I agreed it was for the best. I left her so she could have the surgery. It was going to cost about $800. We never thought we would pay that much for an animal doctor bill, but the alternative was to have her put down. We didn't think that was an option we could live with.
When we brought her home she was a little groggy, and had stiches where here eye used to be. She had to wear one of those cones so she wouldn't scratch her eye. She kept running into things. The first couple of days were rough. She would whine all night. None of us slepted well, but she made it through, and returned to her old self. She could still catch a ball, and loved doing it over and over. She discovered she also liked rawhide bones. She was a happy dog.
Check back for part 3
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